It has come down to this.

{a modern romantic tale}

Do you know how to make your own mayonnaise? Have you made it when you realized that buying the stuff was too expensive? I have. I did this week. Then I followed the same rationale with tomato basil sauce and Thai coconut curry soup.

It’s not just a starving-artist act, nor is it that I’m working through being shy about promoting my massage therapy business (despite being great at what I do and having a practice aimed at a population that overflows from San Francisco: GLBT and friends). It’s also my anger at how no one knows how to make anything anymore; my frustration with the cost of living and how hard it is for a twentysomething to get ahead; my strong belief in going back to more simple living in honor of real human values. I also like using my blender. Whirr, whirr, whirr!!

Lest you believe me to currently be wearing a) a shroud or b) sitting on Shaker furniture, I will assure you that it’s a hoody and aluminum. (Man, if I had a shroud…plane tickets to Turin! Let’s go!) I’m not about to farm for vegetables in Golden Gate Park, or weave myself outfits from carpet fuzz and old magazines. My carpet's not a dog, it doesn't have a shedding problem, and I cleaned up after it last time I took it for a walk, OK? My copies of BUST are in a safe deposit box in Poughkeepsie, so stop your askin'.

What I'm cooking up is the answer to a question that has more to do with finding your way to freedom through a thorny path strewn with alienation, missing movie theaters, and anise. Anise, because it's time to make biscotti. I'd give you facts and figures on the difference financially between making and buying, but you might cry or wonder like any worshipper of the wage how I find the time. Time is money, my friend, so I'm not paying to spend my time kneading my own dough. (To make sure my food tastes just as good as out at a restaurant, I wear a black spiky wig and eyeliner and slouch and depending on the type of eats, perkily list the special, or, disgruntled, saddle the table with my plate. Deee-lish.)