Dear Reader, Yes: it has finally happened. My first grey hair. It's about two inches long and close to my hairline at my forehead. After considering the possibility that the singular hair had just gotten bleached by a long weekend in the sun tranny-gazing, I concede that it's time to Grandma it out.
I hereby inaugurate the tradition of Wednesday Word Day. That is, Grandma-word. The Grandmationary!
In honor of this particular pretty pink ribbon cutting, I will give you THREE words and phrases that Granny loves best.
Caddywhompus. Adjective which describes a direction or action which is all tangly-twisty, over there-and-here, the opposite of clear or direct. A queen in too-high shoes' walk can be caddywhompus, as can how you have to weave through the Mission to find the Lexington. Also as in, "Girrrl, your hair is ALL caddywhompus from last night's romp!"
Dagnabbit. Exclamation used to express extreme frustration. Usually shouted. "DAGNABBIT! That bitch grabbed the last medium pink v-neck at the H&M men's!"
Boardinghouse Reach. Idiomatic phrase from down South meaning the crude gesture of finagling a biscuit or somesuch by sticking one's arm way out to the other side of the table, ignoring all training from Miss Manners or the Tiffany's guide. "Excuse my boardinghouse reach," is the classic use. Can you be grabbing something other than food across the table? I don't know; what else do they have down South?
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