On Loyalty

Look, Marc, I don't talk smack when you roll out a year of questionable garments, OK? Mum's the word, and if anyone asks what I think of my beloved Mr. Jacobs' latest collection, I assure them that your creative freedom is far more important than something I'd shell out money I don't have for. As a performer, I'd love to work with a Coppola or two, but ultimately, it'd just be to know you. I'd sit by your side, dear MJ, and feed you grapes if you wanted, or at least tell you jokes and point out cute substitutes for that hot tool you just axed from boyfriendhood. I'd go in drag in your ads by Jurgen Teller, and then I'd go in girl drag. I'd show up for you when you needed reminding of your fabulousness. Marc, I would have your baby.

So, my lovely idol, when back in February I sat back at my corporate job, ignored the yahoos, and watched your fall show, I was reminded for the second year in a row that you just aren't ready to give me what I need again. And that's okay. What are friends for? You're saving me hundreds, thousands, ultimately. I don't feel like wearing kickbacks to your '94 collection with a twist of Russian peasant and Igor: that's cool. I totally support your innovativeness. And as an added bonus, I do look forward to those osteoperosis-bound socialites hobbling around New York in your muff-bound oversized woolens.

I ask only one thing of you. Let me prop up my iBook this August and see something that takes my breath away: the most beautiful, eccentric, magical, sweet dresses, sweaters, and boots a girl like me could dream of. You've got it in you--you've done it before, oh so many times. Make the goods just weird enough that the press still doesn't get you. I'm on a no-spending plan, also known as a I want to do something more satisfying with my life plan. Yet, I see what you do as true art: and for that, maybe come November I can splurge on a kitten heel, a cowl-neck sweater, or a pair of newsboy pants. You're a genius. I wait with baited breath.

(So...I wouldn't mind having the above outfit in a size 10. Send to my house?)