Solution 'Stache

Due to the fact that Los Angeles is wont to breed air I am allergic to, I finally purchased an air filter yesterday on my way home from the shoot. Having spent the day in a fake mustache, I wondered why allergens couldn't just get trapped there and leave my respiratory system alone. Even more frightening than lame coughing attacks that make me look like I am about to asphyxiate, however, are the pictures and language on the side of the air filter box. Smoke! Mold spores! Dust mite debris! Next to disarmingly creepy images are descriptions of these intruders, with key words highlighted so that from a distance or if you have eyesight troubles you will know what's what. WEEDS RODENT DANDER DEAD SKIN or FECES SALIVA PIPES... Yet, nestled in the midst of this real-live ghost story is an image of a cheery Golden Retriever and his tabby friend. Look above them: cancerous wisps! Look below: an insect that looks like a man-eating pimple! One wonders if the manufacturer thinks seemingly lovable pets are actually demons trapped inside soft fur. Like a slow child I want to rescue them from this bad company. Perhaps like me they too could don facial hair, and at least temporarily, hide out.