New Rules for Models

After experiencing today's print model audition for Disney, I have come up with some rules that ought to be enforced here-on-out. Models may not have their own union to corral and protect them, but here's the short list of my personal instructions:

1. Do not end any sentence with a preposition. Please employ standard English. I am not going to dignify your question by telling you 'where the audition's at.'

2. Do not operate under the assumption that you are funny and can execute impressions. Do not attempt an impersonation without changing your tone, vocal patterning, facial muscles, or general demeanor. Do not look around the room proudly after you have done so, assuming you are a comedic genius, merely waiting to be discovered while being photographed in jeans.

3. Do not mock the rest of the world by eating ice cream as you wait to have your fatless body fetishized by casting directors. Seriously. Especially not mint chip.