Big Dreams Come True, Like Noodles

As I stroll righteously through my big famousness, brushing my hair with ruby dust and plucking strands of emeralds from my teeth after a good salad, I wish to advise my constituents of not only the virtues of various hot sauces , but also the way of the noodle. After all, this week I did in fact receive my first unsolicited fan letter and autograph request. (Those I solicited turned me down, but mostly because my friends already have notes I've given them, and that.) Big dreams may begin with hot sauce, but they continue on with pasta:

#1 Mung bean threads. Also known as glass noodles, they are see-through and chewy as the dickens. Charles in particular made for an excellent granola bar.
#2 Rice sticks. The wider the better. Ideally, a house-sized surfboard of rice stick with gentleman callers in the form of bok choy atop.
#3 Brown rice spaghetti. It's like brown rice, but in a different shape and without all the self-satisfaction. Doesn't it look menacing, as if it were made of processed white flour, all cuddled up under that blanket of marinara?

Thus concludes my latest grocery suggestion, from my famous mouth to yours, but not in an intimate way; at least not while you're still chewing that gum.