Talking Pony Pony Pony

That pretty much sums it up.

Seagulls

"You feel like fish?"
"Yeah, sure, I could eat."
"What's up with that lady taking our picture?"
"Societal preoccupation with capturing nature in order to offset the impact of existential crisis during life transition."
"I'm into her shoes."
"You don't need minimalist trainers, Sal."
"I do.  I'm over arch support."

You've Added A Cat

My love of all things from the UK and particularly the BBC continues with season two of "Derek," now streaming on Netflix.  That I separated myself at all from obsessive rewatchings and analysis of "Orange Is the New Black" speaks volumes about my deep appreciation of everything Ricky Gervais does, right down to having his character Derek "add a cat" to a painting of a bowl of fruit.  Six episodes down and fingers crossed for a third season, I guess it's back to Lily Allen, "The Fall," and daydreaming about the London School of Economics.

Scissors Stand, See Who They Really Are

You're not just what you do, you're what you're made of.  You're the way you're shaped, and what potential lies therein.  You're not the free Clinique bag you hang out in most of the time, Scissors.  You're just how sharp you can get, given the proper care.

Lady Octopus

On days you feel like a two-limbed octopus, just draw on a bow, lipstick, and eyelashes.  You'll get out of any jam you get into.  Even a jam jar. 

Lean-On-Me Dunham

I wish there was a cross between roller derby and talking about feelings, because that'd be my sport. My player name could be Sensitina Fey, or Aldous Huggsley, or Mindy Caring.  "Her thighs are powerful, but her heart is stronger!!" they'd say, marveling as I paired skating with psychology.  Maybe one wouldn't need all those tattoos to qualify for this sport; just arms expressive with cuddling.  

#HOA Success!

It's official - we are FUNDED!  This month we shoot our pilot episode, thanks to 62 generous backers and our great team.  There are many exciting developments in motion, including additional production team and cast members.  Off I go, back to rehearsing my big election scene!  Can't wait.

#HOA

When my friend Zora Bikangaga approached me about playing one of the leads in his new project - an awkward-but-dominant lawyer running for president in a homeowner's association election - I wondered why her name was Aubrey.  "A coincidence," he claimed.  Hmm...  I'll take it, blazer collection and all!

The script for the half hour comedy pilot is hilarious, we have a great cast and production team on board, and in order to get all the equipment we need to shoot in April, we're raising money via Kickstarter.  Please check out the campaign here, watch the video, and donate to the cause.  Aubrey Rochelle Klein for president!

New Demo Reel

Check out my new demo reel here if you enjoy unicorns, yogurt, therapists named Dr. Wiseman, Malcolm Gladwell, gender-bending, and scarf capes.

Radiant Orchid

Pantone's color of 2014 is Radiant Orchid, which suggests vibrance, elegance, and the gleeful clapping of wedding planners' hands.  To fully induct yourself into the aura of this omen, consider:
* dressing dramatically in color and shapes for a few weeks and then all in plain green for the rest of the year, like a petulant teenager
* giving women everywhere who think they're too cool for roses something to ask for
* hanging out in front of Trader Joe's to make the discount grocer look more upscale
* taking a bunch of new-age workshops, where you can get away with wearing that much purple
* kicking back in a steamy room because regular atmosphere is too dry for you and you therefore only socialize with humans wrapped in towels

Uplift and Conquer

Talking Pony just got a sibling!  She's technically younger, but acts more like the advice-doling older sister who has some books she's willing to lend in hopes you stop falling for the antics of your superficial classmates.  My new website is Uplift and Conquer, which aims to fuel you up so that you can better handle the modern world (read: social media culture, or as it is currently playing out, culture).  I've been working on pieces covering everything from hashtags to how to use the telephone, and am even offering Tarot readings. 

You can find Uplift and Conquer on Facebook here. 

How Hollywood Actors Know it's Fall

There's nothing quite like this time of year, when one puts on a sweater and winter coat in 80 degree southern California weather and drives all the way across town to play with invisible children in the hopes of getting a job for one day.

Nailed It!

Nail art could be likened to a plague upon the hands of Angelenos at this point.  No longer enough to pick a slightly racy color, you have to bejewel, layer, claw out.  Polish is defeated by the rise of the gel.  Itsy flowers are old school: your fingers need to mock ice cream cones, laser light shows, Fosse acts.  Late in the game, I apply houndstooth strips only to have no one - and I mean no one - say a word about my strange nails.  Like every other measure of beauty and the exceptional, this town sniffs, turns its sculptural head, and dreams of something they just might not overlook. 

Six Out of Seven Ain't Bad

What better way to use my spare time at Disney than to arrange and photograph dwarves?

Have You Ever? The Lululemon Yoga Experience

Teaching yoga class out on the lawn at the Americana at Brand today for Lululemon was a blast!  A huge crowd of great students showed up.  While the asanas were hardly new, there were a few experiences I can now say I've had while teaching (or taking) yoga:
* Practicing at a mall.  Granted, a swanky grassy mall, but a mall nonetheless.
* Practicing with enough yogis to staff a mid-size tech company.  Or at least change a psychic climate!
* Practicing alongside a massive water fountain.  Those who do not need to pee have minds of steel.
* Practicing with a giant statue of a golden man lurking, his hair mid-fling in the air (bangs, of course). 
* Practicing in front of Tiffany's.  Who needs a diamond?  Make yourself into a diamond, wink wink.

Yoga Class at Lululemon 8/4

This Sunday August 4th, I'm teaching a free community class for Lululemon at the Americana at Brand.  We'll be out on the lawn from 9:30 to 10:30 AM - hopefully in front of Tiffany's, so you can have a breakfast of sorts with an Audrey.  Apparently there will be light refreshments - does that mean Pinot Grigio? - and of course, the opportunity to book it to Anthropologie to buy yourself a $180 scarf or what-not.  See you there!

(And in case you haven't spotted the irony in all this, here's the "Jimmy Kimmel Live!" sketch I did in March.) 

New Headshots by Dana Patrick Photography

Photographs by Dana Patrick

Hair and Makeup by Rachel Stolte

Bringing New Meaning to Hasbro

In pony-related news, the show "My Little Pony" now has a legion of male fans, dubbed "Bronies."  If the 20 and 30 something boys like the rainbow plastic horses, then hand them a tiny yellow brush and let them have at coiffing.  Provided, of course, these fanboys have taken the toy out of the box.

Happy Sad Foot

The sign turns slowly but determinedly, on one side showing a wounded foot stumbling on crutches; on the other side revealing a happy foot now able to wear sneakers on his own feet.  Why, where, how?  The Foot Clinic on Sunset Boulevard, of course; right next to the Comfort Inn (how auspicious).  Every time I'm stopped at the light I'm mesmerized by the sign, which telegraphs sorrow and relief in evenly alternating amounts to the tune of a he-loves-me, he-loves-me-not daisy pulling.  Is it an oracle, a promise, a humorous quip?  Why does he need crutches if only his big toe, sitting atop his "head," is broken?  When he finally is able to don shoes, why does he simultaneously think in terms of a pickup game of basketball and a white-glove cocktail occasion?  If the foot could speak, would he belt out "Amazing Grace"?  Was he once lost, and now is found?  Naturally.  No foot opens his mouth that wide for anything less.

Cat and the Being Stalked

Neighborhood cat takes charge when for the fifty-hundredth time this woman has the nerve to move her car out of her parking space.