Sad Candy Machines

Gentlemen and women of the candy, please refill your machines. They look so sad empty, and we're not giving you a quarter for those last three M&Ms.

The German Diplomat Proust Voiceover

My friend Tim Youker baked me President's Day cookies and mailed them in a box with shreds from his PhD dissertation, so naturally I couldn't resist reading some of them. Then I came across some snippets of words in my own files; temporary "poetry" tattoos from when I was a teenager. I present to you the mash-up I made of the body art and the academic musings.

Handsome Justin

There comes a time in every young woman's life when she needs a cup of black coffee and a friend to listen. Thank you, Handsome Coffee Roasters, for providing such a beaver. Justin was both kind and supportive as I wiled away the afternoon, face deep in my notebook. While I support him if he chooses to return to finish his PhD in American History, he sure does his job here well (and what orange teeth, what shiny fur). He has to pick up the slack: after all, one of the baristas has a broken arm, for the love of espresso. I bet Justin secretly works for WoodSmithe and chewed down the exposed beams in the shop himself. So silent and still...yet so capable of multitasking.

Scottish Tagger, Yo

There it is spraypainted on a downtown Los Angeles wall: my middle name, which was my great aunt's first name, from the city in Scotland with which our family has history. Sweet: a Scottish tagger on the loose in the arts district. Represent!

With Character/Personality (Not Her Face)

Every now and then casting notices suspiciously reference oneself. The screenshot above is only a mild example of this phenomenon. For instance, there might be a breakdown which calls for an actress who has been practicing yoga her whole life, whose favorite hobbies are vegan cooking, sewing, and reading about neurobiology and socioeconomic trends, and whose measurements are X-Y-Z. In other words, so very me. The beauty of such a listing is that I will submit myself for the casting director to call in and will not get called in to essentially play the role of myself. "You're everything we're looking for," they might say, "So we went with someone else."

An Actor Prepares

The closest thing I come to Method is using my brunch partner's bacon to make a face. Trust me, the work is better this way. And...scene.

Look Back in Wonderment

Here's a portrait of the actress at four or five. What blows my mind is that I'm the same person: haircut, taste in outfits, stance, and all. In fact, this is probably exactly how I look acting in my master class with Dan Ireland, except a little taller (5'9"). This is the essence of performance to me: looking out in the world in wonder, taking it in, reflecting it back. There I am in my dad's studio in SoHo, one of his paintings in the background, the perfect set. Check out the stool: maybe I'm about to climb on it and do a Beckett monologue. Even if it takes me a decade or two.