How do so many recent "experts" have my email address? These people, who I have never met, claim to know all there is to know about nutrition, yoga, meditation, enlightenment, and the entertainment industry. Part of what's comical is how each one writes as if they alone hold the key to my happiness, followed by a fee for a seminar/book/MP3/consultation. If you responded to each email with exuberance--the answer to my problems has come!--you'd do nothing but hand over credit card numbers to an endless parade of the recently anointed. Colon hydrotherapist who will help you find God! Yoga teacher who trains you to see through your elbows! Creator of subliminal tapes who will take you back out of menopause! Guy who bussed here yesterday will get top agents to sign you! I should write them back. Thanks for your contact information, I'd say. Just send me your bank routing number. You'll appreciate the great offer I have to give, to teach you everything you've yet to learn. Such a deal, you say? I may be the ruler of the free world, but I am still benevolent.
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