Congratulations! This card printed on a printer that came free with our office computer was made just for you! We want to maximize use of our color ink cartridge so whenever possible, we used a rainbow color scheme! See this 3/4 inch by 1 inch photo? It was taken at an event we held three years ago and from the backs of people and the slightest indication they are standing near a pool, you can tell it was a success!We need to know right away if you want to be a star, as demonstrated by your presence at our Hollywood networking event. Important people have already sent in their RSVPs, which is to say that if you do not come you will probably miss the chance of a lifetime to stand with them near a pool and try to become famous. Plus there will be soft drinks!
The dress code is conservative Polynesian attire. No exceptions. It is very important that you mingle luau-style, and climb the ladder/break the glass ceiling/get your big break while looking like you could hula-hoop or play the ukulele. There is no charge to attend, but you are expected to give us all your extra money.
You are cordially invited. To attend! This! Special! Event! Designed exclusively for you. Because we are under the impression that "exclusive" can include everyone on our mailing list, and that you will drop everything to wear an oversized shirt with palm trees on it in order to meet your destiny of getting hit on by an out-of-work producer.
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