Monday, June 20, 2011

Things I Have Imagined About My Friend Tim


That he will, along with our friend Hart, be one of my bridesmaids when I get married. Even if that means he wears his Teddy Ruxpin post-doctoral interviewing outfit.

That he will successfully mount the play he wrote involving a character named Audrey, based on me, based on my love of pink and a certain expletive, and that I will in fact have my Broadway debut as a version of myself, which is to say that casting will not prefer Alison Pill.

That he will 1) Purchase an ostrich egg at Whole Foods for $40; 2) Locate an ostrich; 3) Have the ostrich sit on, and then hatch, the egg; 4) Sew tweed suits for the two ostriches; 5) Dress the ostriches, then himself, and go out on the town as a trio of gentlemen.

Acquire a needlefelt brain.

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