I Went to Stanford

Today I submitted myself for two acting roles:

1) A woman who is type A and terrified of farting, and then finally does;

2) A bride.

Thank you, Hollywood, for your limitless opportunities.

Looking Moneyed: Balls

Giant wooden balls: a necessity for every classy home. Why buy just one when you can fill a living room table with them? Show your guests how big your balls can be.

Hey Mister, Spare a Dime?

Payphones: they still exist. In case you hadn't seen one in awhile, here's two. So much for worrying about having five bars...

In Memoriam of Jason Oliver

Today was Jason's memorial gathering in the Bay Area, and while I wasn't there in the flesh, I thought of my dear friend and gazed at the single orchid petal mysteriously placed on the dash of my car. Jason, how could you have left us so suddenly and unexpectedly? Today we celebrate you.

I was going to write Jason a testimonial for his website, but I kept getting hung up on waiting for more results. I knew the work I was doing with him was hugely impactful and that I'd eventually have even more to show for it than the fact that I held my head higher walking through the world; knew myself better. I wanted to have trophies to bring back for him; to hold up tangible proof in honor of my great teacher that by giving so much and asking so little in return from me that he had accomplished everything, even that which seemed impossible. The irony being, of course, that he wouldn't have seen it as his work, but mine. Yet I could never have not seen it as ours.

In the year that I knew Jason, I went from an actress striving just to get in the door to getting called back to audition for Hollywood casting directors and producers for leads in two comedy pilots and a feature film, along with winning a key role in an award-winning short. I began to change how I approached and saw relationships; valuing myself much higher than I had. I finally had a way to get out of any negative sinkhole I sunk into. I can still hear Jason's voice talking back to me when I start to dive under, and it's clear that he will always be with me.

I am so grateful for the time that I had with such a brilliant, wise, caring spiritual leader, who gave because he loved giving, and who loved me to my surprise even though he saw all my difficult sides. He never stopped seeing my name in lights, and now wherever I see light, I see his name.

Thank you from the bottom of my heart, Jason. I love you.

Audrey

Poster Sets It Straight

Death, marriage, shopping: and a whole lot of driving down the freeway. That's my week in review. Thank you, local poster, for the reminder You Have Everything You Need. Even as the world turns, we're eternally internally equipped.

Facebook, As Demonstrated By An Only Child

At least the lines of communication are open.

How Many Llamas?

This spring I participated in a filmed showcase, and it's finally online to view! Rather than hold industry folk hostage in a dusty, hot theater at any given 8 PM, the online version offers a chance to see us all work with the upgrade of seeing us on camera. You can view the showcase scene here.

You May Know Me By My Netflix Queue

And I wouldn't want my pants any other way.

Candy Orders Action

Taking self-promotion to whole new heights, this wrapper says what's what. Chocolate bar, you've really outdone yourself.

Bank Uses Communication Strategy

Hello to you too, Bank. Now what? If you'll excuse me, Coffee Shop has a better pickup line.

BEST SPOOF! "April" Takes the Cake

As announced at last night's awards dinner for AOF Film Festival 2010, "April" won for Best Spoof! First-time director/writer not only makes a great film but nails a genre? Pretty awesome.

You Are the Right Person This is the Right Time

Induced-by-twelve-hours-of-sleep Jennifer Aniston fluffed up my hair while guest-teaching the acting class; turned to just me and said, "We should go get some sorbet sometime." And that, my friends, is breaking into the slumberland big time.

Mango? Rasperry? Coconut?

"April" on the Red Carpet

Our screening at AOF this weekend was a smash hit! Jury's still out on our award nominations, but hearing the movie theater full of laughter is what counts. I'm so lucky to be a part of this fabulous cast and crew.

King of the Motorchair

Because nothing says "Buy this electric wheelchair" like having a stuffed lion demonstrate its prowess. Only $595!

Stolen Car

Ever dream you've had your car stolen? Head out after a trip to the grocery store, or a day at a new job, and those nocturnal bad guys have walked off with your ride? I've tripped this neural pathway a few too many times in recent memory, and finally consulted with that bastion of sound testimony, the internet.

According to the internet I feel I have been stripped of my identity; perhaps due to a change in jobs, relationships, or a situation that once played a key role in my identity as a person. According to the internet I perhaps have lost my drive and ability to move forward. Or that my physical body has been hijacked. That someone is trying to take advantage of me.

I left work tonight close to 1 AM, slightly worried these nightmares would come true and my chariot wouldn't be holding court in the parking lot. But see, I left work, where I reveled in wonderful new employment, interpersonal connections, and unusable old skins falling away. Ha, dreams! No wonder you ended in an assignment at Disney.

Who Needs Vampires When You've Got "April"?

Go Team "April"! Our movie is not only screening opening night at AOF International Film Festival, but it's also up for two awards. Will we take home the titles of Best Spoof and Best Makeup? Stay tuned.

Pick Me Up, Love, E ery Ay!

Vortex of 2005

People from early 2005 are coming back to me: theory or metaphysical truth? I considered this when one of my most wonderful friends who I hadn't seen since then came to visit in June. Forget about '05: I then toyed with the idea of April 2010's boomerang effect. That month's emails finally got returned, meetings got set, mentions turned into events and the film with such a name started its circuit in the world.

But what about today's pair of reunitings from that turning-point year: someone I shared a stage with briefly but significantly, and another with whom I worked side by side? Lest I spend too long wishing I'd never left New York five years ago, or fret over a little delay from the spring, it all knows where I live, apparently.

Every key player is coming my way.

"April" Gets a Trailer

Watch the teaser here.

Grandmationary: Rubber Sock

Definition: A timid, delicate, or cowardly person. But that is just the hobo use. If you were in WWII, then you're talking about a new Navy recruit.

If you are a hobo-turned-government-sailor, well then! I'm sure there are plenty of dandy muffins ready to shake a rug with you, you ole rubber sock!