The Tiger in the Tale Preview

Set photos from "Bones" episode 804 have arrived online!  Catch a glimpse of my ponytail in the one above, but watch the show on October 8th at 8 PM on FOX to see my actual face.  And, of course, the tiger the in tale!

Date Tape

My discount grocery store loot: papaya, okra, potatoes, cactus, and an onion; for less than the price of a piece of gum at Whole Paycheck.  The real prize, however, was witnessing the nonplussed forty-year-old African American lady cashier get hit on by the sixty-five-year-old Eastern European guy bagger.  With the casual style of a bartender with time on his hands, he wore a big smile on his face and started in as she rang me up.

Bagger: You are beautiful, but you look ugly with that tape on your forehead.

Cashier: I need the tape, I have a headache.

Bagger: Have a shot of vodka with me.  I’m depressed too.

Cashier: I’m keeping the tape.

Bagger: I buy the vodka, you buy the chips.

By the time I left, no firm date was set, but I was pretty sure there was some off-brand liquor in their future.  I suppose the moral of the story is that a man’s willing to look past your imperfections, but you still have to bring him food; or that a piece of tape can keep away a headache, but not a lusty alcoholic.  Or maybe you're just supposed to come for the groceries and stay for the schtick.

Hippest Hipsters

This week, Forbes voted the neighborhood in which I live--Silverlake, in Los Angeles--"America's Hippest Hipster Neighborhood," followed by San Francisco's Mission District and Brooklyn's Williamsburg.  This study was based on things like walkability, artisanal coffee shops per capita, and how well citizens maneuvered walking to and from those coffee shops in their skinny jeans.  Proving that there's nothing quite like being called cool to make you feel uncool, I've been hanging out in Historic Filipinotown instead.  My pants are still tight and my beans are still single origin, but now I'm just so up-and-coming.  Time to find a new Thai vegan spot for some self-mock duck, if you know what I mean.

"Conclusions" Playlist

Visit or revisit my glasses collection, conversations with a lobster and a unicorn, and the eternal quest for some (not so) straight-forward answers about life in all the episodes of "Conclusions To Be Drawn From the Internet."  Each new episode is added to the playlist, so it's a link to bookmark--or just subscribe to my YouTube channel, audreydundeehannah.  Thanks for watching, and I look forward to bringing you more hijinks later this month!

Malcolm Gladwell Book Report

Today is writer Malcolm Gladwell's birthday, and in his honor, I give a book report as some kind of an art school dropout trying to hustle her way in the newsroom.  You can watch the episode of "This Day Today" here.