Le Pissed Resistance

FOX rolled out "Ted Sampon: Househusband," Team Tiger Awesome's clever and snappier sidebar to reality show "Hollywood House Husbands," and the episode I guest-star in is up! It's episode nine out of nine, so you might want to watch the full run for maximum comedic saturation. Either way, you can find me tricking fools in a mustache here.

Definition: Rampant

ram·pant (rmpnt) adj.

1. Extending unchecked; unrestrained.

2. Occurring without restraint and frequently.

And then, in case we'd lost touch with verbal history, the dictionary provides a glyph:Clearly, "rampant" means "king lion pawing you with his tongue out."

Current Economy Explained Through iTunes

Let's hope it really is just for a limited time.

Lost Underpants

Economic times have been tough; you've got to make sure you've got at least seven pairs to complete the set. I just hope this recent posting in my neighb isn't trying to pass as installation art. LACC, after all, isn't too many blocks away.

I Finally Understand: Squirrels

Squirrels must be smarter than all other urban wildlife; they must have figured out that if they slow down in the least we will tame and hoard them as our pets. They must sense how desirable their big fluffy tails and bright money eyes are and how much we love them. One eyed me from the cafe garden gates, and if it had winked, that wink would have been all-knowing.

In Summary

A) The Fonz (yes, Henry Winkler) and I concocted a business plan to benefit Orthodox Jewish women on Monday; B) I got to live out my childhood dream of acting as an airplane with the aid of a weightlifter on Tuesday; C) On Wednesday, I bought $13.15 of seaweed.

Tomorrow (Thursday): it's going to be 1989, and I'm already preparing the hair.

Be Yourself For Halloween

Meaning that I asked myself existential questions while cleaning house and watching past episodes of "Mad Men." If the walls to the spirits were thin last night, my dearly departeds got a good glimpse of what it means to clutter-clear without face paint or a naughty nurse costume.